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“I Was Going To Die” – Gabourey Sidibe Opens Up About Her Bulimia Battle

Empire star, Gabourey Sidibe has opened up about how she battled mental health issues and an eating disorder which could have killed her. The 34-year-old actress spoke out in her new memoir, This Is Just My Face, where she revealed how she would stop eating whole she was a New York City college student:

“I stopped eating. For days at a time, I wouldn’t eat anything at all. Often, when I was too sad to stop crying, I drank a glass of water and ate a slide of bread, and then I threw it up. After I did, I wasn’t as sad anymore. I finally relaxed.”

Sidibe told how her problems with food began when she was a child and she began binging on sweets following the separation of her parents:

“My mom started giving me diet pills. The purpose of diet pills is to suppress your appetite. But I’d learned that you can actually eat when you’re not hungry. Eating had nothing to do with appetite anymore. If I had a bad day at school, munching Chips Ahoy cookies while watching cartoons was a great way to elevate my mood.”

Her father, who was living in Brooklyn, tried to help by giving Gabourey Slim Fast shakes, but they didn’t help:

“I drank the shakes along with some chips while watching TV and feeling sorry for myself.”

Things got worse as Sidibe entered high school:

“Now I was always making meal plans with my friends. Trying new diets where I would only eat packs of ramen noodles and only drink Crystal Light. I stopped eating lunch. I never ate breakfast to begin with, and now I gave up lunch completely, too. There were no nutritionists around to tell me that it’s counterproductive not to eat, so it felt like the healthy thing to do.”

By the time she was a sophomore in college, Sidibe had developed bulimia, which lasted three years:

“Throwing up made me feel high. It was a little like that happiness you get from the endorphins that are triggered when you work out.”

Although Gabourey hid her bulimia from friends she eventually managed to get therapy so she could deal with the condition. While she has now lost some weight, Gabourey insists that she has always been gorgeous:

“My beauty doesn’t come from a mirror. Never has, never will.”

Inspiring stuff.




Photo Credit: ZNTent

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